real me again.

So, from some of the past posts you might have come to realize that I have a good amount of children: 6 to be exact. I love them dearly. Each one is special and unique in their own ways and I love that about them. But today I am going to be a bit real again. This is a post about purpose and waiting..... two things that are so real to me right now and that could be so real to you as well.
We all know that we have a purpose. Not just any purpose but a God given purpose. Every day I am faced with this. Every time I am asked to do something at my church, I am faced with this. I know that I have a God given purpose, and I at times go crazy thinking how I can put that purpose into my "NOW".
My "now" is filled with so many earthly and temporal things. My days are filled with cleaning, laundry, beds, dishes... and the list goes on. At times it is so hard to see how this all plays into purpose. I find myself longing to be able to help that person in need across the world. I find myself praying that there is something that I could do to help that person suffering from that disaster that just hit... but I cant. I am a mom of 6 beautiful and amazing kid. I am not upset that I have them, but I just find my self in limbo wanting to help people and at the time not really knowing how to do that. I have an amazing friend who needed help and I really wanted to be by her side and still do, but I know that bringing all my kids there really wouldn't be a help either.... so we did other things to help her and I felt so amazing. I just love helping people and I just love being able to show God's love in a tangible and real way!
I am writing this with no real direction, but as I write I guess I am coming up with some answers. Even though I so want to be there presently with someone but cant, doesn't mean that I don't have a heart or that I don't care. I care so much and want to be used so much. That is my desire is to just be used by God. But also knowing how God wants to use you in that moment is huge as well. My heart has always been about people. I went to Bible school thinking God was leading me toward missions and I ended up marrying a pastor (who is an amazing man, I might add) and becoming a mom a few years later. I can now see how that heart for the world is coming into this life that God has been leading me on, but I just sometimes have a hard time seeing the plan in waiting. Maybe I need to find a different way to help people as I felt led. Maybe those that I have a strong desire to help, I am supposed to find a way to do that while I am here with my kids for the time being. I strongly desire to be used and just show God's love in a very tangible way, but sometimes you have to know how God wants to use you where you are at in the now.
I know that some of you reading will say that I have one of the highest callings of being a mom and showing God's love to my kids and I do agree with that, but there is still this strong desire to help people and I want to show my kids that we are to reach out to the world with God's love and not just be so self consumed with our own life. There are so many out there that are hurting and who need so much. I want my kids to know the importance of thinking of others and not being so self absorbed that they cant see the needs that are around them. I want kids who are selfless and thinks of others first and who are so far from being selfish. I want them to know that Christ gave his all and that we should not store treasures here on earth but to always be helpful to those around and know that God will always supply us with what we need. SO I know that I have an amazing task of bringing up these kids, but I also know that there are people hurting and dying around us and we have so much to give. I want my kids to see that through me and my husband. I pray that we show them this and that they too will learn to think of others and want to reach out with God's love to a hurting and dying world.