Expectations

I have been thinking about expectations concerning mans expectations of God, who he is, maybe how he should work.  The story of peter is a great picture of this. He went from being a disciple, to denying Jesus  when Jesus  was being taken away to death, to being a powerful preacher. My friend's blog explained this nicely. He expected what this short video (link at bottom) showed and then once those expectations were squished he denied Jesus. But then learned what Jesus was all about when he raised from death and Peter became an amazing preach who reach so many for Christ. So my question is where are you today? What are your expectations of God? Do you feel he's "letting you down" Bc he's not doing the things you think He should do  in your time? Are you expecting him to do things and work in your time frame when he came and died and said himself "it is finished ". He did the job and yes, don't get me wrong I know he can do miracles,I know he can and wants to but are we putting him in our box of time and if he doesn't work, that's it... We are done and like Peter decide to deny him or go on doing our own thing instead? As we can see from the Bible Jesus works in his time and in ways that normally man doesn't think he will or that maybe man can't understand. Man thought the messiah to be some one to save them from the political powers of the day when Jesus wants to save us in a deeper way. He wants to save our hearts, our souls, our eternal selves. It goes deeper than our day to day life. With Jesus He looks at the heart of man and he wants to save him in a deeper way than just this life. Yes God provides, yes God can heal, but how do you react when it seems like he isn't listening? Do you automatically turn your back on him and try to run toward something else or do you keep running to Him even when life is super hard? I knowi am not perfect and I have done this. We all expect things and we all think and pray things and then when things don't happen we get discouraged or down and that is , my friend, called humanity! We are all human! We all feel lonely. We all feel lost at times. We all feel like no one is listening or sees just what you are going through, but God still does. He still cares. He will still be there! He already saved your most precious, valuable thing: your soul/heart! He finds that the most precious thing in existence. Value that gift! Never take that for granted and know that He is still there.  

https://skitguys.com/videos/item/our-king-palm-sunday?utm_content=buffer5edd8&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Fear of disappointing!

I struggle with a fear. And it manifests it self in many different areas of my life. I think maybe some of you can relate especially if a woman. But I struggle with the fear of disappointing people. Can any of you relate? It isn't easy living life like this and at some point you have to realize that, yes, you are only human and yes you can't make everyone happy. You will disappoint people for various reasons. You can not do it all and sometimes you have to say no. Or sometimes you have to put yourself first. Sometimes you need to recharge. Sometimes your kids need you and sometimes you just need to get alone before God and just be. Life isn't always easy and sometimes others make it hard to. But all we can do is our best in this life. People get upset about little things but sometimes doing what you can is enough. Sometimes killing yourself to make others happy isn't the answer. Priorities need to be set and sometimes it's ok to just say no to something. Sometimes we need to realign life and realign our priorities to match what God is trying to do in our lives. And sometimes we just need to let God do some work and be still before Him! We as woman want to be stubborn and we want to be able to do it all and make everyone around us happy but that isn't always going to work. We are only human and can only do so much. Stop trying to please everyone and start thinking of the one we truly have to please in this life: God! 

I found this pic and I loved it. Lol just something funny for the day ;) have a good day and be blessed!

Its been a long time since writing here. Its been quite a year. Wont get into it all, but I have found a song that describes it well that really touches where I am right now. This is where I am.  I have to say that I have learned a lot. I think that fear and other things clouded my view. I know that right now I am where I need to be. Making the choices that I have recently have been the best thing. I know that God has a purpose and I am ready now! I am ready for Him to finally fulfill these purposes. I know that we are human and we have very real emotions and very real things that we try and hide and we try to run at times. Run from what we know we should be doing. Fear creeps in and we try and turn away and not do what we know we should. I know that God is faithful and will always take us back, but I know that He will keep hinting and keep urging and keep nudging us back to the path that He knows we should be on. It truly is a blessed life of faith. It can be scary and it can get bumpy but God is there to lead us the entire way! I am also working on another project right now as well. I want to start writing more and thinking maybe putting together an eBook. Writing has always been a passion of mine and I think it is time to branch out past my blog and head in that direction to. It is something close to my heart and something that I think needs to be addressed in the church. A subject that people struggle with but don't want to admit they do because maybe they think they shouldn't struggle with this as a Christian. Well, I feel I need to bring it up, address it, and give my insight into the subject. Many might not know I have ever struggled with it, but I am a firm believer that we do go through things so that we can help others who go through things and lift them up, and encourage them as they are going through. So stay tuned for that as well. I wanted to let you know that I am back and that I am going to continue to write here and share things as I start taking on this project that I decided to undertake. I hope that you are all well, I hope you click on that link above and listen and hear my heart! I am also going to post the words below as well. It is a great song, and I have always loved Plumb's music. Be blessed all!!!

Lord I'm Ready Now

Plumb

from the album Need You Now (Deluxe Edition)

I just let go
And I feel exposed
But its so beautiful
Cuz this is who I am
I've been such a mess
But now I can't care less
I could bleed to death

Oh Lord I'm ready now
All the walls are down
Time is running out
And I wanna make this count
I ran away from you
And did what I wanted to
But I don't wanna let you down
Oh Lord I'm ready now
Lord I'm ready now

You called my name
I turned away
But now I
Am listening
I was so caught up
In who I'm not
Can you please forgive me?

I've nothing left to hide
No reason's left to lie
Give me another chance

a very honest look at me right now...

So I am going to be very honest here today.... I love my kids and my family. I do, so don't take this the wrong way at all... but sometimes this life can be lonely. Yes, I have kids around me all the time, but, it is lonely. I don't have friends. Any friends that you make seem to fade as people you once knew when you have a lot of kids. When you have a bunch of kids you feel like you don't want to intrude on people, and you don't want to invade other peoples space with your many kids BC they might not know how to handle that... you feel bad and like a burden to those around you, and the people you once hung out with you don't BC then they would  have to invite the whole clan over... and that just doesn't happen much when you have a big crew like me.... so it gets lonely.. you try and make "online" friends since that way you don't have to overwhelm people with the amount of kids you have, and that just fails since not many people are real online, and many of them will just want to argue to show that you are wrong and they are right. sometimes you just want someone to talk to, and sometimes you just want someone who wont offer you advice for the things that you are going through. Sometimes you just want an ear to listen. Sometimes you just want to get away and laugh with another human being not a computer screen. Again, don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but sometimes you just want to feel like a human being and not a spit up rag... Some times you just want someone to see you for someone other than "mom". Finding friends when you have little kids is not easy. You don't ever get out, and if you do its only for a quick trip to the grocery store. Your life as a mom revolves around the little people in your life. I love these little people, but sometimes I just want to get away and be Emily... not ma, mom, mommy, Mama.... and sometimes you just don't want to hear whining all the time. So finding real friends when you h ave a bunch of littles?? NO clue how to do that.... ugh.. so sorry about my vent. Just feeling alone in this life as a mom to little kids... It is rewarding, but can def be lonely when the world is racing by you and everyone seems to be going somewhere, but you are standing still and alone... So to all you moms of little kids who might be feeling like this... your not alone... I know I am majorly blessed, but sometimes I just feel alone in this....

Blessed weekend

I had a great ministry weekend. There were things that went completely wrong, but the things that happened at church, the people I was finally able to meet, talk with and get to know...all the great things def overshadow the not so great things...

Our car... it has been causing grief lately, to say the least. We had received tickets from my husband's work to go and have breakfast with Santa! We did not tell the kids where we were going, because when you have 6 young kids, you don't want an excitement freak out... So we did not tell them, we piled in the car and backed out of driveway, then put into drive and then the car stalled... We tried restarting it, and NOTHING! We piled back out of the vehicle, kids inside, upset not to go anywhere, and we pushed that HEAVY car out of road. So that kinda spoiled our plans. The rest of the weekend was filled with trying to find rides for our ENTIRE family to church and then for me and my husband to multiple things as well since ministry is a HUGE part of our weekend. I have to say that we have amazing people in our lives who we love and who have been by us to help us out! We were able to get rides where ever we needed for all of us. I LOVE these people (they know who they are!) and I am so blessed by their willingness to help us! but all this is sooo little. After it happened, we were annoyed and still had things to go to this weekend. People helped and even though at first we could have easily stayed home to "rest" and probably pout a bit about the circumstances, we went, and I am sooo glad that we did. We had fellow ministers in town and they just blessed us. It was awesome being able to sit with them and talk (through an amazing interpreter!!!) and get to know them, have them get to know us, share our Christmas with them, and just enjoy each other! The people in town were from Colombia and they are truly some amazing people! It was fun and just a blessed time! Then Sunday we had an amazing service. The preacher from Colombia spoke and it was a great sermon of Closing certain doors in our life so that God can open the windows of heaven!!! We were blessed to have him speak. Then being able to spend the afternoon with their family and with the interpreter and family. And just again getting to know each other deeper, was a blessing. My husband had already had the chance to meet them when he went to Colombia earlier this year. This was my first time meeting them in person and I love it. I love meeting people from all over the world, and being able to get to know them as people, as ministry partners, and as friends. For me it was amazing. I already love these people and pray that someday I too can go to Colombia and see where they are from, and experience their culture and meet the fellow Christians , my brothers and sisters in Christ! This is truly awesome to be able to do! I love ministry and getting to know people from all over the world. It has always been a desire to travel and share God's love, and I know that someday it will come to pass. I am excited about what God has in store. Sometimes we just need to push through to get to where God wants us!
So to say the least, we had some "issues" of life come up this weekend, but I know that I am truly blessed and that God will always take care of me and my family! I am excited to see what will happen and what God will continue to do. It was a blessed weekend! I am blessed to know some amazing people, and I am blessed to have an amazing God!!

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real me again.

So, from some of the past posts you might have come to realize that I have a good amount of children: 6 to be exact. I love them dearly. Each one is special and unique in their own ways and I love that about them. But today I am going to be a bit real again. This is a post about purpose and waiting..... two things that are so real to me right now and that could be so real to you as well.
We all know that we have a purpose. Not just any purpose but a God given purpose. Every day I am faced with this. Every time I am asked to do something at my church, I am faced with this. I know that I have a God given purpose, and I at times go crazy thinking how I can put that purpose into my "NOW".
My "now" is filled with so many earthly and temporal things. My days are filled with cleaning, laundry, beds, dishes... and the list goes on. At times it is so hard to see how this all plays into purpose. I find myself longing to be able to help that person in need across the world. I find myself praying that there is something that I could do to help that person suffering from that disaster that just hit... but I cant. I am a mom of 6 beautiful and amazing kid. I am not upset that I have them, but I just find my self in limbo wanting to help people and at the time not really knowing how to do that. I have an amazing friend who needed help and I really wanted to be by her side and still do, but I know that bringing all my kids there really wouldn't be a help either.... so we did other things to help her and I felt so amazing. I just love helping people and I just love being able to show God's love in a tangible and real way!
I am writing this with no real direction, but as I write I guess I am coming up with some answers. Even though I so want to be there presently with someone but cant, doesn't mean that I don't have a heart or that I don't care. I care so much and want to be used so much. That is my desire is to just be used by God. But also knowing how God wants to use you in that moment is huge as well. My heart has always been about people. I went to Bible school thinking God was leading me toward missions and I ended up marrying a pastor (who is an amazing man, I might add) and becoming a mom a few years later. I can now see how that heart for the world is coming into this life that God has been leading me on, but I just sometimes have a hard time seeing the plan in waiting. Maybe I need to find a different way to help people as I felt led. Maybe those that I have a strong desire to help, I am supposed to find a way to do that while I am here with my kids for the time being. I strongly desire to be used and just show God's love in a very tangible way, but sometimes you have to know how God wants to use you where you are at in the now.
I know that some of you reading will say that I have one of the highest callings of being a mom and showing God's love to my kids and I do agree with that, but there is still this strong desire to help people and I want to show my kids that we are to reach out to the world with God's love and not just be so self consumed with our own life. There are so many out there that are hurting and who need so much. I want my kids to know the importance of thinking of others and not being so self absorbed that they cant see the needs that are around them. I want kids who are selfless and thinks of others first and who are so far from being selfish. I want them to know that Christ gave his all and that we should not store treasures here on earth but to always be helpful to those around and know that God will always supply us with what we need. SO I know that I have an amazing task of bringing up these kids, but I also know that there are people hurting and dying around us and we have so much to give. I want my kids to see that through me and my husband. I pray that we show them this and that they too will learn to think of others and want to reach out with God's love to a hurting and dying world.