finding purpose in the NOW

After yesterdays post I was thinking about purpose and being fulfilled in this life. I was thinking about the things in this life that  one could do (which are a lot of different things). I was thinking about what would I feel fulfilled to do. I thought about the countless jobs I felt a lack of fulfillment with and just trying to get through to the next day. The only time I feel a sense of fulfillment in my life is when I am helping someone with an issue in their life as a mom, or their life in general or in their spiritual walk. I love helping people in these ways. I don't feel fulfilled when doing other things, but I love helping people. I think about when my kids will be all in school and what to do when I have them all in school. I have been thinking about jobs and what I can do when they are in school. I thought yesterday how I don't want just another job to fill up  my time, but how I want something that I will feel like I am making a difference in peoples lives and helping them get to the next level in their life. Helping them get through an issue that has come up, or helping them get closer to God. Now what can I do that would offer this? lol So that is what I am praying about now. That I will find something that will give me a sense of purpose and help people while I am not full time with my kiddos. I love people and just want to help someone, anyone, through whatever they might be going through.I have seen a lot and God has given me wisdom through the good and the bad, and I just want to share that with people. So this is just a follow up on what God is doing in me and my journey to finding purpose in the now. I am grateful that when we ask God, He answers! So That is my prayer now. How can I feel fulfilled and doing what God wants me to do while I am still a mom to growing little kids. I want to again end with the verse I did yesterday. It has been speaking to me and I love what it says.

Habakkuk 2:3

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

purpose and vision.

So as I sat today holding my daughter and just thinking, I got to thinking about purpose and vision. It has been something I have been praying about lately and something that I have felt has been missing. I know some of my purpose and have some kind of vision for my life, but I honestly feel like it has just been stopped. Being a mom and wife is awesome. Yes, it has its ups and downs but it is something that is also needed when you have little children. Sometimes we have to sacrifice time to raise the kids and take care of the family so that your kids can grow and mature. I don't want to seem like this isn't an important thing for me to be doing, because it is! At times when you know you are called to do certain things and you are not, you feel almost purposeless... I don't want people to get me wrong and start lecturing me on my purpose is as a mom and wife etc, i know that.. but there is more that God has for my life and I feel that, and I feel that pull at times, and have no clue how to accomplish those things when I know I have to be home with the kids. It can be hard at times balancing those feeling inside of a longing to minister and do what God has called you to do but you are bound by your life's circumstances. The verse that comes to mind is "where there is no vision the people perish".  There are many times where I feel this. I have a final vision, but my vision for the NOW is lost in busyness with the kids, it is lost in my vision for what is to come that it is hard to see the vision that I should have for the right now! I have really been trying to pray lately about what God wants me to be learning right now, what vision He has for my right now where I am at, and how can I find and feel like I have purpose in the now. At times when we are not there yet, it can feel like it will never come but we have to have faith and trust God to reveal His timing and also to reveal His vision for us right now. What Does God want you to learn where you are at? I know there are probably many things God wants me to learn right now, and I really want to have a vision for the now so that I can get to that vision for the future. The verse below has really been a help to me. When I am waiting and not feeling very purposeful, I know that I can read that and know that God does have a plan for me and sometimes we have to wait for that appointed time. Is it easy waiting?? NO, not usually but God has a plan and when it finally comes together in the end, you will then truly understand the whys!!! Keep this verse below at hand when you are waiting. Also ask God for a fresh vision for the now so that you can keep going and pushing through those feelings. Dont live by feeling but live by Gods truth! This life of faith isn't always easy but when it finally comes together you will see just how truly blessed you are!!!


Habakkuk 2:3

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Been busy.. I am sorry for not writing. I guess I will share today a bit about me as a person. I am a wife to a wonderful man , leader, teacher, preacher and everything in between. I have yet to find something he isn't good at. lol. TRUTH! I am sure there is something but why look at and focus on that when there are so many incredible traits that he does have. I help with whatever I can and in whatever area is needed. We are also ministry partners. We are both in the ministry and have a calling from God on our lives! I am also a mom of 6 little ones. They keep me very busy. This past  year we home-schooled which I have to say.... ISN'T as easy as people make it look!!! I struggled in this area the past year, which in turn made me struggle with my self and why I couldn't do it.... I have to say, that I give a lot of credit to moms who can home-school multiple kids, but for me it was very difficult. I have 3 in school and 3 not in school. And this year the older boys are in public school. It was my choice, and I feel they will make friends and be little lights for Christ in their school. I was not able to spend much time with the younger three this year because of the all day focus on schooling the older three. I am excited to be able to spend some quality time with the younger three who I think need it. So I am starting to get the three boys ready for school and trying to keep going through the summer with normal household things, and with extra things that come up. Being in ministry you never know what will come up. I have to say that I am blessed to have some wonderful help in my life that God has sent my way.... I am so grateful to these people. They help watch my kids if something comes up with the youth, and they help watch the kids if I have to have a prayer run.
Lately I have added something to my week and I am really enjoying it. I decided to try and get 3 runs in a week. I used to be very good at running distances and i really want to get back into it. It is something that I can do for me to keep me healthy and also to just unwind from the day. Weird way to unwind... I used to love to push myself and see just what I could do. I forgot that, but have really started to remember and do that! last night I did 4.11 miles. It hurt, but felt good at the same time.
This life is what we make of it... better yet, this life is what we let God make it be. Enjoy it and let God lead you always. We live a blessed life of  faith. God loves you and wants good for you! Now, you make sure to want and strive after good things for you too!!!
Be blessed

Apply his words to your life.

"God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

 13–18 Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out." Ephesians 6  

I wanted to share this. God has been really speaking through his word and I wanted to share what I have been reading today and just let God speak to you through this portion. God desires to speak to us and have us apply what we learn through His words! Allow Him to speak to you today! Really take to heart what He speaks to you and apply it! Let His words change your heart and mold you to what He desires you to be!! 

From memory: do  not be anxious about anything but through prayer and supplication make your requests be known to God.

That is what came to mind today. Feeling very anxious today and overwhelmed. This is a good reminder when feeling like this: bring it to God!
From time to time you can start to feel attacked in some way or another. It is what you do when that happens that matters. If you let it eat you up and dwell on it, it can bring you down. If you bring it to God in prayer, then you can get through the trial. So today I am praying and bringing it to God and asking Him for wisdom from on high! I know that He will move and answer! Praise God for His unending love and His wisdom!

10 years since....

It has been 10 years since we said "I do". It was at the time, a fairy tale in my mind. I didn't really know what went into a good marriage but I knew that I loved that man and that God had brought us together. That is all I had to know at the time. Life always strikes and gets hard and then you know what it takes to have a marriage that lasts through the storms.
Over the 10 years that we have been married I have learned a lot. A lot about me, a lot about my husband and a lot about God. I have learned the importance of marriage. I have learned that yes, God doesn't want us to be alone, but I have also learned that it is supposed to be a picture of how Christ loves the church. We need to show this through our marriages. We need to show our partner love respect and honor so that the world can see Gods love through our actions as a married couple. This was made so real to me a few years back. God didn't have to create marriage, but He did so that we could show the world God's love. Marriage is an important part of God's love. As we show our love to each other through having a good, God centered marriage, we are also showing the world, "this is how your Heavenly father loves you too!!!" In a marriage you are to live for each other. It honestly isn't as much about "us" and us getting through things, as it is about God and God faithfully getting us through life's trials as a married couple. Honestly, if we hadn't turned to God a few years back, refocus on HIM I don't know where we would have been. But God is so faithful and so good. As I look back on all the years, all the ups and all the downs, I am so grateful to God! We have so many wonderful memories. And we have a lifetime of dreams that God has placed inside us. Our goal in life is to serve God with our all!
I have to say I have so many interesting and funny memories. There is never a dull moment with my man. He is such a fun and funny person. He is also such a wonderful husband, hard working provider, and amazing dad to our 6 kids. His best attribute is that He loves God with all he is and He wants to please Him and live a life following after God's will for our lives. He is such an amazing Godly example to our kids. I am so happy, blessed, and grateful that I get to call him my husband. I love you hunny and always will. You are God's best for my life and I am so happy we get to share this life together!  It is all about living a life after God and I am so excited to share that with you!!! You are my best friend and partner in ministry! I love you!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

walk/live by faith and not by sight

Today I was reminded of two verses. Two great verses. I really believe that God is  beginning to do some great things, and wants to use people. He wants to take those who will walk in faith and use them to reach people for Him. I was reminded of two verses on faith today. "we walk by faith and not by sight" and "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Both great verses on faith. Today I was reminded that doing things for God and being used has nothing about who we are but what how far and how long we are willing to walk in obedience to God. It is determined by how much faith we are willing to extend. Faith is a huge part of our lives. To do anything for God and be willing to be used we first have to take the things that God has told us and showed us and never let go of those things. It is taking the things that God has said and not looking at the natural which says "can YOU do that?" and look to the God who said "in my name you will do this for me!" and know it and believe it and walk in it even when the natural and the actual circumstances look so doubting. Put that trust in God and His plan for your life, don't look to the left or the right and walk with Him and He will make these things come to pass. We have such a heart to help people all over the world, and preach and teach them the good news of God, and there were times where we had no idea how that would happen, and at times, it was hard to keep those things in view when the world was trying to push them far out of reach, but standing in faith and just pressing forward we are now starting to see these things come to pass. We are starting to see God move in amazing ways through us. We are excited and know that we have come through a lot to get us where we are right now. God has been faithful through it all and He has never failed us! So I want to encourage you to keep the faith! Keep walking in faith and don't look at the circumstances, issues, what others say, or anything else. Look to God and what he has spoken to you. Trust HIM over everything and everyone else! 
LIVE and WALK BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT!!!!