Expectations

I have been thinking about expectations concerning mans expectations of God, who he is, maybe how he should work.  The story of peter is a great picture of this. He went from being a disciple, to denying Jesus  when Jesus  was being taken away to death, to being a powerful preacher. My friend's blog explained this nicely. He expected what this short video (link at bottom) showed and then once those expectations were squished he denied Jesus. But then learned what Jesus was all about when he raised from death and Peter became an amazing preach who reach so many for Christ. So my question is where are you today? What are your expectations of God? Do you feel he's "letting you down" Bc he's not doing the things you think He should do  in your time? Are you expecting him to do things and work in your time frame when he came and died and said himself "it is finished ". He did the job and yes, don't get me wrong I know he can do miracles,I know he can and wants to but are we putting him in our box of time and if he doesn't work, that's it... We are done and like Peter decide to deny him or go on doing our own thing instead? As we can see from the Bible Jesus works in his time and in ways that normally man doesn't think he will or that maybe man can't understand. Man thought the messiah to be some one to save them from the political powers of the day when Jesus wants to save us in a deeper way. He wants to save our hearts, our souls, our eternal selves. It goes deeper than our day to day life. With Jesus He looks at the heart of man and he wants to save him in a deeper way than just this life. Yes God provides, yes God can heal, but how do you react when it seems like he isn't listening? Do you automatically turn your back on him and try to run toward something else or do you keep running to Him even when life is super hard? I knowi am not perfect and I have done this. We all expect things and we all think and pray things and then when things don't happen we get discouraged or down and that is , my friend, called humanity! We are all human! We all feel lonely. We all feel lost at times. We all feel like no one is listening or sees just what you are going through, but God still does. He still cares. He will still be there! He already saved your most precious, valuable thing: your soul/heart! He finds that the most precious thing in existence. Value that gift! Never take that for granted and know that He is still there.  

https://skitguys.com/videos/item/our-king-palm-sunday?utm_content=buffer5edd8&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Fear of disappointing!

I struggle with a fear. And it manifests it self in many different areas of my life. I think maybe some of you can relate especially if a woman. But I struggle with the fear of disappointing people. Can any of you relate? It isn't easy living life like this and at some point you have to realize that, yes, you are only human and yes you can't make everyone happy. You will disappoint people for various reasons. You can not do it all and sometimes you have to say no. Or sometimes you have to put yourself first. Sometimes you need to recharge. Sometimes your kids need you and sometimes you just need to get alone before God and just be. Life isn't always easy and sometimes others make it hard to. But all we can do is our best in this life. People get upset about little things but sometimes doing what you can is enough. Sometimes killing yourself to make others happy isn't the answer. Priorities need to be set and sometimes it's ok to just say no to something. Sometimes we need to realign life and realign our priorities to match what God is trying to do in our lives. And sometimes we just need to let God do some work and be still before Him! We as woman want to be stubborn and we want to be able to do it all and make everyone around us happy but that isn't always going to work. We are only human and can only do so much. Stop trying to please everyone and start thinking of the one we truly have to please in this life: God! 

I found this pic and I loved it. Lol just something funny for the day ;) have a good day and be blessed!

Its been a long time since writing here. Its been quite a year. Wont get into it all, but I have found a song that describes it well that really touches where I am right now. This is where I am.  I have to say that I have learned a lot. I think that fear and other things clouded my view. I know that right now I am where I need to be. Making the choices that I have recently have been the best thing. I know that God has a purpose and I am ready now! I am ready for Him to finally fulfill these purposes. I know that we are human and we have very real emotions and very real things that we try and hide and we try to run at times. Run from what we know we should be doing. Fear creeps in and we try and turn away and not do what we know we should. I know that God is faithful and will always take us back, but I know that He will keep hinting and keep urging and keep nudging us back to the path that He knows we should be on. It truly is a blessed life of faith. It can be scary and it can get bumpy but God is there to lead us the entire way! I am also working on another project right now as well. I want to start writing more and thinking maybe putting together an eBook. Writing has always been a passion of mine and I think it is time to branch out past my blog and head in that direction to. It is something close to my heart and something that I think needs to be addressed in the church. A subject that people struggle with but don't want to admit they do because maybe they think they shouldn't struggle with this as a Christian. Well, I feel I need to bring it up, address it, and give my insight into the subject. Many might not know I have ever struggled with it, but I am a firm believer that we do go through things so that we can help others who go through things and lift them up, and encourage them as they are going through. So stay tuned for that as well. I wanted to let you know that I am back and that I am going to continue to write here and share things as I start taking on this project that I decided to undertake. I hope that you are all well, I hope you click on that link above and listen and hear my heart! I am also going to post the words below as well. It is a great song, and I have always loved Plumb's music. Be blessed all!!!

Lord I'm Ready Now

Plumb

from the album Need You Now (Deluxe Edition)

I just let go
And I feel exposed
But its so beautiful
Cuz this is who I am
I've been such a mess
But now I can't care less
I could bleed to death

Oh Lord I'm ready now
All the walls are down
Time is running out
And I wanna make this count
I ran away from you
And did what I wanted to
But I don't wanna let you down
Oh Lord I'm ready now
Lord I'm ready now

You called my name
I turned away
But now I
Am listening
I was so caught up
In who I'm not
Can you please forgive me?

I've nothing left to hide
No reason's left to lie
Give me another chance

a very honest look at me right now...

So I am going to be very honest here today.... I love my kids and my family. I do, so don't take this the wrong way at all... but sometimes this life can be lonely. Yes, I have kids around me all the time, but, it is lonely. I don't have friends. Any friends that you make seem to fade as people you once knew when you have a lot of kids. When you have a bunch of kids you feel like you don't want to intrude on people, and you don't want to invade other peoples space with your many kids BC they might not know how to handle that... you feel bad and like a burden to those around you, and the people you once hung out with you don't BC then they would  have to invite the whole clan over... and that just doesn't happen much when you have a big crew like me.... so it gets lonely.. you try and make "online" friends since that way you don't have to overwhelm people with the amount of kids you have, and that just fails since not many people are real online, and many of them will just want to argue to show that you are wrong and they are right. sometimes you just want someone to talk to, and sometimes you just want someone who wont offer you advice for the things that you are going through. Sometimes you just want an ear to listen. Sometimes you just want to get away and laugh with another human being not a computer screen. Again, don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but sometimes you just want to feel like a human being and not a spit up rag... Some times you just want someone to see you for someone other than "mom". Finding friends when you have little kids is not easy. You don't ever get out, and if you do its only for a quick trip to the grocery store. Your life as a mom revolves around the little people in your life. I love these little people, but sometimes I just want to get away and be Emily... not ma, mom, mommy, Mama.... and sometimes you just don't want to hear whining all the time. So finding real friends when you h ave a bunch of littles?? NO clue how to do that.... ugh.. so sorry about my vent. Just feeling alone in this life as a mom to little kids... It is rewarding, but can def be lonely when the world is racing by you and everyone seems to be going somewhere, but you are standing still and alone... So to all you moms of little kids who might be feeling like this... your not alone... I know I am majorly blessed, but sometimes I just feel alone in this....

Blessed weekend

I had a great ministry weekend. There were things that went completely wrong, but the things that happened at church, the people I was finally able to meet, talk with and get to know...all the great things def overshadow the not so great things...

Our car... it has been causing grief lately, to say the least. We had received tickets from my husband's work to go and have breakfast with Santa! We did not tell the kids where we were going, because when you have 6 young kids, you don't want an excitement freak out... So we did not tell them, we piled in the car and backed out of driveway, then put into drive and then the car stalled... We tried restarting it, and NOTHING! We piled back out of the vehicle, kids inside, upset not to go anywhere, and we pushed that HEAVY car out of road. So that kinda spoiled our plans. The rest of the weekend was filled with trying to find rides for our ENTIRE family to church and then for me and my husband to multiple things as well since ministry is a HUGE part of our weekend. I have to say that we have amazing people in our lives who we love and who have been by us to help us out! We were able to get rides where ever we needed for all of us. I LOVE these people (they know who they are!) and I am so blessed by their willingness to help us! but all this is sooo little. After it happened, we were annoyed and still had things to go to this weekend. People helped and even though at first we could have easily stayed home to "rest" and probably pout a bit about the circumstances, we went, and I am sooo glad that we did. We had fellow ministers in town and they just blessed us. It was awesome being able to sit with them and talk (through an amazing interpreter!!!) and get to know them, have them get to know us, share our Christmas with them, and just enjoy each other! The people in town were from Colombia and they are truly some amazing people! It was fun and just a blessed time! Then Sunday we had an amazing service. The preacher from Colombia spoke and it was a great sermon of Closing certain doors in our life so that God can open the windows of heaven!!! We were blessed to have him speak. Then being able to spend the afternoon with their family and with the interpreter and family. And just again getting to know each other deeper, was a blessing. My husband had already had the chance to meet them when he went to Colombia earlier this year. This was my first time meeting them in person and I love it. I love meeting people from all over the world, and being able to get to know them as people, as ministry partners, and as friends. For me it was amazing. I already love these people and pray that someday I too can go to Colombia and see where they are from, and experience their culture and meet the fellow Christians , my brothers and sisters in Christ! This is truly awesome to be able to do! I love ministry and getting to know people from all over the world. It has always been a desire to travel and share God's love, and I know that someday it will come to pass. I am excited about what God has in store. Sometimes we just need to push through to get to where God wants us!
So to say the least, we had some "issues" of life come up this weekend, but I know that I am truly blessed and that God will always take care of me and my family! I am excited to see what will happen and what God will continue to do. It was a blessed weekend! I am blessed to know some amazing people, and I am blessed to have an amazing God!!

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real me again.

So, from some of the past posts you might have come to realize that I have a good amount of children: 6 to be exact. I love them dearly. Each one is special and unique in their own ways and I love that about them. But today I am going to be a bit real again. This is a post about purpose and waiting..... two things that are so real to me right now and that could be so real to you as well.
We all know that we have a purpose. Not just any purpose but a God given purpose. Every day I am faced with this. Every time I am asked to do something at my church, I am faced with this. I know that I have a God given purpose, and I at times go crazy thinking how I can put that purpose into my "NOW".
My "now" is filled with so many earthly and temporal things. My days are filled with cleaning, laundry, beds, dishes... and the list goes on. At times it is so hard to see how this all plays into purpose. I find myself longing to be able to help that person in need across the world. I find myself praying that there is something that I could do to help that person suffering from that disaster that just hit... but I cant. I am a mom of 6 beautiful and amazing kid. I am not upset that I have them, but I just find my self in limbo wanting to help people and at the time not really knowing how to do that. I have an amazing friend who needed help and I really wanted to be by her side and still do, but I know that bringing all my kids there really wouldn't be a help either.... so we did other things to help her and I felt so amazing. I just love helping people and I just love being able to show God's love in a tangible and real way!
I am writing this with no real direction, but as I write I guess I am coming up with some answers. Even though I so want to be there presently with someone but cant, doesn't mean that I don't have a heart or that I don't care. I care so much and want to be used so much. That is my desire is to just be used by God. But also knowing how God wants to use you in that moment is huge as well. My heart has always been about people. I went to Bible school thinking God was leading me toward missions and I ended up marrying a pastor (who is an amazing man, I might add) and becoming a mom a few years later. I can now see how that heart for the world is coming into this life that God has been leading me on, but I just sometimes have a hard time seeing the plan in waiting. Maybe I need to find a different way to help people as I felt led. Maybe those that I have a strong desire to help, I am supposed to find a way to do that while I am here with my kids for the time being. I strongly desire to be used and just show God's love in a very tangible way, but sometimes you have to know how God wants to use you where you are at in the now.
I know that some of you reading will say that I have one of the highest callings of being a mom and showing God's love to my kids and I do agree with that, but there is still this strong desire to help people and I want to show my kids that we are to reach out to the world with God's love and not just be so self consumed with our own life. There are so many out there that are hurting and who need so much. I want my kids to know the importance of thinking of others and not being so self absorbed that they cant see the needs that are around them. I want kids who are selfless and thinks of others first and who are so far from being selfish. I want them to know that Christ gave his all and that we should not store treasures here on earth but to always be helpful to those around and know that God will always supply us with what we need. SO I know that I have an amazing task of bringing up these kids, but I also know that there are people hurting and dying around us and we have so much to give. I want my kids to see that through me and my husband. I pray that we show them this and that they too will learn to think of others and want to reach out with God's love to a hurting and dying world.

He is your life.

So, from my last post you can tell that I have been battling the enemy. It is during those times where you really have to not let the enemy win. When the enemy is trying to shout lies into your head, that is when you need to attack back with the weapons that God has given us to fight with. They are not your own power or strength, they are not muscles on your physical body, they are not even physical weapons that are normally used in a physical battle here on earth. These weapons that I speak of are Spiritual weapons. The Bible says that we do not fight against flesh and blood, so the weapons that we need to use are all spiritual. When I get down I grab my Bible and start battling back and reminding me of why God has me here, that even if I don't see the purpose of the "right now" I still can rest that He does have a good plan and purpose for me! So I have been really just trying to get into the word even more so now, and then just trying to talk to God throughout my entire day. For me prayer is different. I don't sit down and plan out a specific time to just pray. I try and pray when I am doing my housework, I pray when I am giving the kids a bath. My best prayer times and times with God are actually when doing my dishes! I don't know why but I just get with God and all else fades away during that time.
I was reading today and in this certain portion of scripture (which I know I have read so many times) just spoke to me and again reminded me that I don't live for myself and that God should always be my life! He is my all, and sometimes you just need that reminder during the busy times of life. When everything is just being thrown at you, you need to remember "God is my life!" If you have time and if you don't (lol), I encourage you to open up to Colossians 3 and read it, and THEN read it AGAIN in the message. I use all kinds of versions when I read and do my studying and God really just highlights things for me when I do this. I don't limit God to one "translation" since I believe that God can use anything to speak to us. Hey, he used a donkey... enough said!
So, as I read God just kept throwing things out at me and just started to convict me in my life that I just need to keep focusing on HIM. I know that my life is about Him and even though I teach and am a pastor, I still need to be reminded of where I need to do better in my walk with God. Paul even said that He wasn't there yet, and that God is still working on Him and will be, so why should I think I have it all together. I daily have to check my attitude and have to see what I need to do better with my walk. It is a journey and one that we will not fully attain till we are in heaven. I am going to post the portion of scripture and I will probably add another post here or there about it, but I want you to read it and reflect on it. Ask your self this question! "Am I living a life that reflects that I live for God, or do I live a life that reflects that I am living for this world?"

He Is Your Life

3 1-2 So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective.

3-4 Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

5-8 And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That’s a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It’s because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn’t long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it’s all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.

9-11 Don’t lie to one another. You’re done with that old life. It’s like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you’ve stripped off and put in the fire. Now you’re dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.

12-14 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

15-17 Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

18 Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master.

19 Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them.

20 Children, do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master no end.

21 Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.

22-25 Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work.

Sorry for my absence.

So I have been on here very little. I at times get to a point where I need a break from writing for bit because in my self, I don't think that my writing is any good, or I  just get very busy with life and time isn't there for me to sit and write. I have from time to time struggle with different things. I know that it is the enemy who is telling me lies but it can be a fight to "think on what is pure and good". So from time to time depression has been a fight. From time to time, I just feel like I am sitting in a pit. The thing is when I start feeling low, I try not to let it consume me. I try and run to God. I start praying right away ask God to reveal to me what I am lacking in me and what I need to do to climb out of this pit. I go straight to the word and start saying the word of God over me and start remembering that there is more to this life that what you see, but the unseen is what matters. I try and align my thoughts with the word of God. That makes all the difference. So today as I try and fight off the things that pop into my head, I want to share some scriptures that are good and uplifting and that align my thoughts with God's thoughts (The Word). I will probably go through these verses a few times during my day, but this is the best way that I know how to deal with this. It is a good check in my attitude and Spirit. It uplifts and helps in a way that no one can. I have to admit, I don't tell anyone that I am dealing with this, and I am only sharing because I know that many deal with this but just don't know what to do and how to get out of it. So that is why I share this. I probably have wrote about this before, but I know that it is something that I need to conscientiously watch for in my life, and not get sucked into. So as I share these verses with you I pray that you would let them sink in, and let God do a work in your life. Don't think on the negative thoughts that fly into your mind, but think on the verses and what God is trying to tell you today.

Psalms 3:3 But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.

Psalms 32:10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD.

Psalms 37:3-4 Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

Psalms 42:11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

1 Peter 5:6-7 (KJV) Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you

Deuteronomy 31:8 “… It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Deuteronomy 32:10: In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye. 

Psalms 34:17 When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.

Psalms 40:1-3 I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. 

Romans 8:38-39 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

1 Peter 4:12-13 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.

This last verse I go to all the time. When my thoughts seem to consume and that I just need a reminder, I turn here and read this verse. Keep it hidden in your heart. Keep them all hidden in your  heart so you can fight off the enemy when he seems to be attacking. 

 Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

We live for HIM!!!

Romans 14:7 "For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. 8 If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living."

I was reading in Romans 14 about how we need to accept those who are at different places in their faith. I think this is KEY and I think it is something that needs to be hit on, but then I got to these verses and really these verses are verses that I try to remember, (not really knowing where it was from specifically in the Bible, but that I know that this life is not my own, but I live for Him).  
So for today I am going to focus on the verses above. Some days, I have to remind myself this often. Some days seem to drag on, and be one frustration after another. Being a mom I have different frustrations than others, mine dont seem to be that MAJOR.... but to me they are frustrations that can be hard to get through. Sometimes I just don't handle them well. Yesterday my husband saw that. I wont get into the frustration itself because thinking about it, it is not a huge thing, but it has been an ongoing frustration in my life for a little while now. But in reality that little thing that frustrates is nothing compared to eternity. We don't live this life for ourselves. We live for God. Our lives don't belong to us, but they belong to Him. One day we will not be here on this earth any more, and we will stand face to face before God. Then, those little things that seemed so HUGE before will be nothing! We always need to remember that there is something MORE. There is something that we are living for, and that is an eternity with God. We There is a saying that we cant be too heavenly minded that we are no earthly good, well, I also want to flip that... We cant be too earthly minded that we are no heavenly good. We cannot be always focusing on earth and everything here, because that can consume us and take over and then we are no "heavenly good". We want to always have a mindset that we are looking forward to what God has for us and that we are living a life that will cause others to want it and want to come with us in the end!! We need to show that we live a life that shows that we belong to Him and that we are living for Him. 
When the stresses of life come at you full force, stop... and just think.... You are living for something more, something GREATER than this life you see and this world that you see! You live a life for HIM!!! When you are tempted to sin, and do something you know you shouldn't, STOP, think... God is always watching and EVERYTHING that we do on this earth has an effect. You are not living for yourself and your own self gratification. You are living for GOD! There is nothing on this earth that can compare to living for Him. The world will lie to you and offer you all the worldly things that look fun and exciting, but in the end you end up empty and void! Keep living for HIM and seeking to live a life pleasing to Him!!! Be blessed today! 

my rant... sorry....

So I want to talk about self respect, and dignity. The definition of dignity is "the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect". The definition of self respect is "pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity". With these definitions of these words in mind i want to ask the question, where has the self respect and dignity gone? 
I heard a lot about the VMA's and many watched them; I did not! I had no desire to watch them, and quite honestly I didn't know what it was until I Google it. Am I getting old maybe, but honestly with all the talk going on in the social networking world, it didn't sound like I missed much other than a total lack of dignity and self respect! The "act" of the night was between miley and NSYNC. For totally different reasons. Did I google it and see what all the craze was about? Yes I did. I watched the NSYNC performance and it brought me back to high school and they were the same boy band that I remember haha. Then I watched the Miley performance, and was in a bit of a shock! She looked like she was trying to "fit in" in a world that she jsut looked out of place in.... She was trying so hard to be this over the top, "sexy" and shocking singer. She didnt sound good, and I didnt hear much that was on pitch... her crude dancing and little to nothing clothes left me sad for a little girl that once was so talented and had it all. Honestly I wish I could tell her that once she isnt getting as much publicity this world that she knows will turn her back on her and find some other shocking person to take her place.... 
Watching this performance and a few others made me think about self respect and dignity and the TOTAL lack of  both in this culture and society. I am  not even really talking about modesty, but that can play into it. The action were horrible in my opinion and showed that lack of self respect and dignity. Some would say that if you can dress like that you have self respect, but that is total lie. If you dress and do those kind of things on stage in public, it shows that all you want to do is conform to this world and this "sex" industry we call Hollywood and fame. Where does this get you? Well, lately I have seen so many talented young actors/actresses take their own lives. Why? because they have an idea that they have to fit in and do what everyone else is doing to stand out and be chosen for specific rolls. I am here to tell  you that you don't have to lose your self respect and dignity to stand out and get what you want out of life  there is a better way! One where you don't have to choose morals or a job! It is sad to see where the industry has gone, and just how many get eaten alive by it!! Please for the sake of the next generation coming up, don't get eaten up and lose all self respect and dignity. You are worthy of respect and honor and not for the crude dances you do or the filthy songs you sing. You are worth respect but doing those things wont get you true respect or true honor. Show off your God given talents without sacrificing your self respect and dignity on the alter of fame. Many tried and have lost the fight because no matter what you do they want more and more! That doesn't lead to happiness, that leads to self destruction! and honestly if you have teens talk to them about this! If you have girls talk to them about this. Because it effect the teens lives. They see this and think they have to be just like that to fit in! YOU DONT! You  have a worth past your body size and how good you can make it look, and how pretty people tell you you are. There is more in you that you have to offer. You have a brain, you are smart, you are beautiful INSIDE, and are caring and loving and that is worth far more!!!! Show love to others and you will feel the fulfillment and self worth multiply! You will see that there is more to this world that what you do to shock people and how skimpy you try to dress. Try and find true needs in this world and fulfill that need. Feed someone, clothe someone, give someone a drink,... whatever you can do to help that will ultimately effect more and have a bigger impact than the desire and drive to seek after fame! I am going to ask one thing, if you are a person of prayer, please pray for the young stars coming up that they wont fall into this same thing. Also pray for those who are in it and feel they have to compromise their dignity to fit in and be noticed in this world. Have pride in yourself and who God created you to be because that is beautiful!!!! Behave with dignity and honor on a daily basis! So please pray with me for these people who are so lost and sinking in this industry deeper and deeper! thank  you and be blessed today. Sorry for the rant, but I have girls getting older and I want them to always act in dignity and honor and know there is more to this life than what the world can offer! 

being real....

So I have to say... today I am a bit bummed. I am really missing my hubby who is on a business trip this week. This past weekend I didn't see him either because he went on a camping trip with one of our boys. They had a great time, but it only gave me about an hour or two to see him before he had to board a plane and go to another country for work. These kids of days can be hard on me. I am home alone with the kids and feeling alone isn't fun. Normally it is in these times that the enemy tries to attack and a week home with the kids turns into a fight for my thoughts. There are times I have to admit where I just have to fight off the enemy and his attacks against my thought life. It is times like this where I have to stay in the word, and reminding myself of certain verses to keep on track. Why am I admitting all this? Well, bc I am human. No one is perfect and we all fight something off. We all have different triggers and we all have different things that the enemy attacks us with. Second, because I don't know who might be going through something like this. I have learned that it can be a fight to keep your thoughts on what is pure and right and good. At times my mind wants to slip into a depressed kind of state, (I have faced depression in a very real way before) and I don't want to slip into that. So to know what we have to look for and to know what we need to fight against in our lives is key to overcoming things sometimes. You need to know what things satan might throw at you because he knows what things can pull you slowly away! Keep an eye on those things and fight the enemy. Don't let him take you down and out because that is what he WANTS to do. During those times where you know you are getting down, or something is going on inside turn to the word and truly envelope yourself in the things of God and HIS words! Your thoughts and emotions were put in us for a reason, but they can also be something that hinders our walk with God if we listen to those "emotions' or feelings and not to God and His words over your life! Run to God in these times don't get down and out! God has a plan and purpose and He is clear that he will help us through the struggles of life. If anyone is facing things like this or maybe you are and don' even know what to do or where to turn in the bible, please look me up. I will be happy to give you verses that encourage me and help me get past thoughts and focusing on what God has for my life! Be blessed today!!! God loves you and so do I! You can get through the times you feel down. God wants to take you out of this and into victory.

Speaking of purpose and vision.....

I want to put this quote up because I feel it really goes well with what I have been writing about the past couple days. I want to ask you today as I write this morning, "what were you born to do?" I know that God put us here on this earth not to try and just get through this life to get to what is to come, but God put us here with purpose. He has a purpose and a plan for each of us! He has a God given purpose of what to do while on this earth. What were you born to do? The thing is, only you and God can answer that. If you don't know, start seeking after God and ask Him what He placed you on this earth to do. A lot of times it has to do with what you have a passion for, those talents that God has placed inside of you, those skills that He has given you. The Bible say "seek and you will find", "ask and it shall be given". The word also says that God will give wisdom to those who ask. If you want to know what you are here on this earth for, start asking. God will answer! Then once you hear from Him, do not fear that call and that God given purpose that He has placed you here for. You were born with purpose and He has an amazing plan for your life, do not run from it but face it head on and do not fear it! God will give you the abilities and tools you need to accomplish those things that He has for you! If it seems to big for you, maybe it is by yourself, but "with God all things are possible!!" Take this quote to heart and run after what God has for you today.
Ok, sorry a bit short, but kids starting to wake up! Have a great day and start living this blessed life  with out fear and full of faith!!!!

finding purpose in the NOW

After yesterdays post I was thinking about purpose and being fulfilled in this life. I was thinking about the things in this life that  one could do (which are a lot of different things). I was thinking about what would I feel fulfilled to do. I thought about the countless jobs I felt a lack of fulfillment with and just trying to get through to the next day. The only time I feel a sense of fulfillment in my life is when I am helping someone with an issue in their life as a mom, or their life in general or in their spiritual walk. I love helping people in these ways. I don't feel fulfilled when doing other things, but I love helping people. I think about when my kids will be all in school and what to do when I have them all in school. I have been thinking about jobs and what I can do when they are in school. I thought yesterday how I don't want just another job to fill up  my time, but how I want something that I will feel like I am making a difference in peoples lives and helping them get to the next level in their life. Helping them get through an issue that has come up, or helping them get closer to God. Now what can I do that would offer this? lol So that is what I am praying about now. That I will find something that will give me a sense of purpose and help people while I am not full time with my kiddos. I love people and just want to help someone, anyone, through whatever they might be going through.I have seen a lot and God has given me wisdom through the good and the bad, and I just want to share that with people. So this is just a follow up on what God is doing in me and my journey to finding purpose in the now. I am grateful that when we ask God, He answers! So That is my prayer now. How can I feel fulfilled and doing what God wants me to do while I am still a mom to growing little kids. I want to again end with the verse I did yesterday. It has been speaking to me and I love what it says.

Habakkuk 2:3

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

purpose and vision.

So as I sat today holding my daughter and just thinking, I got to thinking about purpose and vision. It has been something I have been praying about lately and something that I have felt has been missing. I know some of my purpose and have some kind of vision for my life, but I honestly feel like it has just been stopped. Being a mom and wife is awesome. Yes, it has its ups and downs but it is something that is also needed when you have little children. Sometimes we have to sacrifice time to raise the kids and take care of the family so that your kids can grow and mature. I don't want to seem like this isn't an important thing for me to be doing, because it is! At times when you know you are called to do certain things and you are not, you feel almost purposeless... I don't want people to get me wrong and start lecturing me on my purpose is as a mom and wife etc, i know that.. but there is more that God has for my life and I feel that, and I feel that pull at times, and have no clue how to accomplish those things when I know I have to be home with the kids. It can be hard at times balancing those feeling inside of a longing to minister and do what God has called you to do but you are bound by your life's circumstances. The verse that comes to mind is "where there is no vision the people perish".  There are many times where I feel this. I have a final vision, but my vision for the NOW is lost in busyness with the kids, it is lost in my vision for what is to come that it is hard to see the vision that I should have for the right now! I have really been trying to pray lately about what God wants me to be learning right now, what vision He has for my right now where I am at, and how can I find and feel like I have purpose in the now. At times when we are not there yet, it can feel like it will never come but we have to have faith and trust God to reveal His timing and also to reveal His vision for us right now. What Does God want you to learn where you are at? I know there are probably many things God wants me to learn right now, and I really want to have a vision for the now so that I can get to that vision for the future. The verse below has really been a help to me. When I am waiting and not feeling very purposeful, I know that I can read that and know that God does have a plan for me and sometimes we have to wait for that appointed time. Is it easy waiting?? NO, not usually but God has a plan and when it finally comes together in the end, you will then truly understand the whys!!! Keep this verse below at hand when you are waiting. Also ask God for a fresh vision for the now so that you can keep going and pushing through those feelings. Dont live by feeling but live by Gods truth! This life of faith isn't always easy but when it finally comes together you will see just how truly blessed you are!!!


Habakkuk 2:3

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Been busy.. I am sorry for not writing. I guess I will share today a bit about me as a person. I am a wife to a wonderful man , leader, teacher, preacher and everything in between. I have yet to find something he isn't good at. lol. TRUTH! I am sure there is something but why look at and focus on that when there are so many incredible traits that he does have. I help with whatever I can and in whatever area is needed. We are also ministry partners. We are both in the ministry and have a calling from God on our lives! I am also a mom of 6 little ones. They keep me very busy. This past  year we home-schooled which I have to say.... ISN'T as easy as people make it look!!! I struggled in this area the past year, which in turn made me struggle with my self and why I couldn't do it.... I have to say, that I give a lot of credit to moms who can home-school multiple kids, but for me it was very difficult. I have 3 in school and 3 not in school. And this year the older boys are in public school. It was my choice, and I feel they will make friends and be little lights for Christ in their school. I was not able to spend much time with the younger three this year because of the all day focus on schooling the older three. I am excited to be able to spend some quality time with the younger three who I think need it. So I am starting to get the three boys ready for school and trying to keep going through the summer with normal household things, and with extra things that come up. Being in ministry you never know what will come up. I have to say that I am blessed to have some wonderful help in my life that God has sent my way.... I am so grateful to these people. They help watch my kids if something comes up with the youth, and they help watch the kids if I have to have a prayer run.
Lately I have added something to my week and I am really enjoying it. I decided to try and get 3 runs in a week. I used to be very good at running distances and i really want to get back into it. It is something that I can do for me to keep me healthy and also to just unwind from the day. Weird way to unwind... I used to love to push myself and see just what I could do. I forgot that, but have really started to remember and do that! last night I did 4.11 miles. It hurt, but felt good at the same time.
This life is what we make of it... better yet, this life is what we let God make it be. Enjoy it and let God lead you always. We live a blessed life of  faith. God loves you and wants good for you! Now, you make sure to want and strive after good things for you too!!!
Be blessed

Apply his words to your life.

"God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

 13–18 Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out." Ephesians 6  

I wanted to share this. God has been really speaking through his word and I wanted to share what I have been reading today and just let God speak to you through this portion. God desires to speak to us and have us apply what we learn through His words! Allow Him to speak to you today! Really take to heart what He speaks to you and apply it! Let His words change your heart and mold you to what He desires you to be!! 

From memory: do  not be anxious about anything but through prayer and supplication make your requests be known to God.

That is what came to mind today. Feeling very anxious today and overwhelmed. This is a good reminder when feeling like this: bring it to God!
From time to time you can start to feel attacked in some way or another. It is what you do when that happens that matters. If you let it eat you up and dwell on it, it can bring you down. If you bring it to God in prayer, then you can get through the trial. So today I am praying and bringing it to God and asking Him for wisdom from on high! I know that He will move and answer! Praise God for His unending love and His wisdom!

10 years since....

It has been 10 years since we said "I do". It was at the time, a fairy tale in my mind. I didn't really know what went into a good marriage but I knew that I loved that man and that God had brought us together. That is all I had to know at the time. Life always strikes and gets hard and then you know what it takes to have a marriage that lasts through the storms.
Over the 10 years that we have been married I have learned a lot. A lot about me, a lot about my husband and a lot about God. I have learned the importance of marriage. I have learned that yes, God doesn't want us to be alone, but I have also learned that it is supposed to be a picture of how Christ loves the church. We need to show this through our marriages. We need to show our partner love respect and honor so that the world can see Gods love through our actions as a married couple. This was made so real to me a few years back. God didn't have to create marriage, but He did so that we could show the world God's love. Marriage is an important part of God's love. As we show our love to each other through having a good, God centered marriage, we are also showing the world, "this is how your Heavenly father loves you too!!!" In a marriage you are to live for each other. It honestly isn't as much about "us" and us getting through things, as it is about God and God faithfully getting us through life's trials as a married couple. Honestly, if we hadn't turned to God a few years back, refocus on HIM I don't know where we would have been. But God is so faithful and so good. As I look back on all the years, all the ups and all the downs, I am so grateful to God! We have so many wonderful memories. And we have a lifetime of dreams that God has placed inside us. Our goal in life is to serve God with our all!
I have to say I have so many interesting and funny memories. There is never a dull moment with my man. He is such a fun and funny person. He is also such a wonderful husband, hard working provider, and amazing dad to our 6 kids. His best attribute is that He loves God with all he is and He wants to please Him and live a life following after God's will for our lives. He is such an amazing Godly example to our kids. I am so happy, blessed, and grateful that I get to call him my husband. I love you hunny and always will. You are God's best for my life and I am so happy we get to share this life together!  It is all about living a life after God and I am so excited to share that with you!!! You are my best friend and partner in ministry! I love you!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

walk/live by faith and not by sight

Today I was reminded of two verses. Two great verses. I really believe that God is  beginning to do some great things, and wants to use people. He wants to take those who will walk in faith and use them to reach people for Him. I was reminded of two verses on faith today. "we walk by faith and not by sight" and "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Both great verses on faith. Today I was reminded that doing things for God and being used has nothing about who we are but what how far and how long we are willing to walk in obedience to God. It is determined by how much faith we are willing to extend. Faith is a huge part of our lives. To do anything for God and be willing to be used we first have to take the things that God has told us and showed us and never let go of those things. It is taking the things that God has said and not looking at the natural which says "can YOU do that?" and look to the God who said "in my name you will do this for me!" and know it and believe it and walk in it even when the natural and the actual circumstances look so doubting. Put that trust in God and His plan for your life, don't look to the left or the right and walk with Him and He will make these things come to pass. We have such a heart to help people all over the world, and preach and teach them the good news of God, and there were times where we had no idea how that would happen, and at times, it was hard to keep those things in view when the world was trying to push them far out of reach, but standing in faith and just pressing forward we are now starting to see these things come to pass. We are starting to see God move in amazing ways through us. We are excited and know that we have come through a lot to get us where we are right now. God has been faithful through it all and He has never failed us! So I want to encourage you to keep the faith! Keep walking in faith and don't look at the circumstances, issues, what others say, or anything else. Look to God and what he has spoken to you. Trust HIM over everything and everyone else! 
LIVE and WALK BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT!!!!